Monday, June 8, 2009

Umbrella Dances!

Every time it rains in New York, I find myself walking to work as a character in one of those movies where people break out into a well-choreographed dance. High School Musical, Grease, She's All That.

I open my umbrella when I get off the E and it starts the craziness.

First, there are the assholes with the giant five-times-bigger-than-necessary umbrellas. Yes you're a big dude, but you don't need to protect all of 5th Ave from the rain. Leave some room for me on the sidewalk, please.

But generally, it's just a series of bobs and weaves, hoping not to get my eyes gouged out by the unaware blonde, while also trying to be considerate of the other normal-height people whose faces are at risk because I'm freakishly short and my umbrella tips could do some serious ugly to them. Of course, this all occurs while we're all packed even MORE tightly into the sidewalk because no one wants to get sloshed by the speeding taxi who plows through the puddles and ruins everyone's perfectly constructed business casual looks.

Of course there are some positives to this scenario.
No one walks out of department stores directly in front of me and stops short, looking around, dazed, slowly deciding where to go next.
No one walks less than 5 miles per hour.
Everyone walks quickly and efficiently to where they need to be.

It's almost like a beautiful synchronized dance.
Everyone dodges the puddles, trots across the crosswalk before the light turns, and gracefully avoids injuries.

It's probably the only part of rainy days that I can stand, and kind of look forward to.

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